We work our entire lives to mold them, shape them and guide them into strong independent young adults. Yet, when the time comes to step over that threshold and let go, it's hard, too hard.
I find myself looking at pictures of Matthew's younger years and wondering what his adult life will be like. I know he has plans after high school. I'm impressed on the thought he has put into his future. He's college bound into the nursing program at Middle Tennessee State University. I have to smile. Most kids his age have no idea what direction they are heading in life. It's amazing to be able to sit on the sidelines of life and watch your child make adult decisions.
God tells us in Ecclesiastes 3:
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
God gifts us our children. He entrusts us with these little lives. And God expects us to grow them in Christ light. God has a plan and a purpose for our children just as he does each of us. Matthew is named Matthew for a purpose. When I was blessed with him, it was during a season in my life that was uncertain, unsure and tainted with divorce. I remember praying to God to just give me someone who would love me unconditionally. Give me someone who would always need me in their life. And then I found out I was expecting. Matthew is my gift of the Lord. That's what the name Matthew means and that's why he has been given that name. He is my gift from the Lord. A gift I didn't know I needed but a gift I have protected, cherished, loved and been proud of since the day he came into my world.
And now, in just a few short weeks, Matthew will step out into his new world. My husband reminds me, Matthew is going to college in town so he's living at home, not a lot will change. But my heart tells me otherwise. Our relationship will change. Gone will be the days where I have to discipline, scold or reprimand. Here are the days where we will be friends more than parent/child. And in my heart of hearts, I think I'm ready to take on this new season. It will be different, new and yet exciting.
Embracing change is what life is all about. Change allows us to learn something new. It allows us an opportunity to step out in faith and trust God with the outcome. Will graduation be emotional? Without a doubt! But, I know that they will be tears of joy. Tears of success that I raised this young man. Tears of excitement for his future. Tears of unconditional love. That boy makes me smile everyday by just being him. I can't wait to see what the future holds and I feel privileged to be able to take a seat on the sidelines and watch it all unfold. Oh what memories we will create!
I can tell you that it works out. Both my kids moved on. I was thrilled when my son wanted to live at home during college. Not so my independent daughter! They're both in their 30's now.
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