Another year...another moment to reflect on the Goodness of God

Every year I am amazed at just how fast the days fly by and I always tend to spend a few days in December with an extra cup of coffee and my memories.  It looks like today is that day.  I'm still in my PJ's, animals are snoozing around my feet and that cup of coffee is sitting next to the computer.

As I sit here looking out the window, I can feel the year wash over me.  Every year is full of  moments.  Some that we are excited about and others we wish we could just forget.  But every moment is known to God.  There isn't a moment that has happened over this entire year that God did not already know was going to happen.  That's one of the true blessings in loving our Father in heaven, he never gets surprised.  We may, but never him.

This year started out rough.  If I could go back to January and sit in the kitchen with my Gramma again you better believe I would jump at that chance.  I miss her so much.  I wish I had taken the time to have created more moments with her when I was with her.  I wish I had spent a few more days with her in January when I went up to help her move.  But instead, I was on Jennifer's agenda and pushed through the days, as difficult as they were, and came home instead of staying put just a few days longer.  And then she took a turn and just never bounced back.  As irony as she was, she was so strong and a fighter but I knew, deep in the caverns of my heart, she was tired of fighting and was ready to feel better.  I get it.  And while I am overjoyed that she is home and whole and with my Grampa, I still miss her, and him, here on earth with me.  Things have happened this year that I wish with all my being that she could have been a part of.  But truthfully, she was.  Leave it to my Gramma to leave this world on the sweetest day, Valentines Day.  I would imagine she came into this world with a bang and she left it just the same.  My heart still aches remembering the very last message I gave her while she was in hospice.  All I wanted was to be there and tell her in person that I loved her so much.  That she had taught me so much.  That she truly was a special lady and I have been blessed to be her oldest and first grandchild.  But I was frozen in fear of saying that goodbye in person so it was on the phone.  And that final goodbye at the funeral home dropped me to my knees.  She is gone.  Her home is now full with a new family and new life.  And I'm here just missing the heck outta that lady.  But there are moments when I think about what she would say as my life has continued throughout the year and I am reminded that she would tell me to "put my big girl panties on as this too shall pass".  And it will.  This hurt will pass and heal and the memories will carry me through until I can hug them both again.

So then we flash forward to this past summer.  God knew when he joined me with Chris that we had something special together.  I can remember praying so hard for the right man.  And Chris walked into my life.  Now mind you, marriage isn't easy and ours is always a work in progress.  But together, we work.  We are a team and our family is just that, our family.  As most of you know, Matthew is from my first marriage.  What I consider a failed attempt but God used it for good.  Just as he always does and he tells us in Romans 8:28.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Whether good or bad, God works out all things for our good.  I'm living proof right here.  God took a broken relationship and turned it into something magical.  I never thought the day would come when Matthew would step out and ask Chris to adopt him but it happened this past Father's Day.  Matthew asked Chris to adopt him and it happened.  I have a blog post all about how God takes the ugly and makes it beautiful.  It's amazing to know that the man that I chose for my partner for life is the man my son desires as his father.  Matthew decided since he was an adult, it was time to make this decision and I am so proud of him. God put Chris and I together for just this celebration and it warms my heart to know that we are officially all Evoy's.  God is good  ya'll.  God is good.

And then we lost our Blaze. It was horrific.  Standing there watching out kitty suffer and knowing there was absolutely nothing we could do to help or to stop the pain.  We got Blaze when we lived in Virginia and she has been a part of our family for 11 years.  She made every move with us as a family.  She was my snuggle buddy when Chris was working or out of town.

She was a comforter when any of us were upset and she was our watch cat every night keeping us safe.  Bless her heart she was a good kitty.  I told Matthew that I imagine Blaze walking across that rainbow bridge and Red Dog and Bacardi sitting there thinking, oh crud, she's back.  Blaze took no shenanigans from anybody, including our dogs.  And when we brought Sierra home in 2016, she got her in line very quickly.  Blaze was a sweet girl and I miss her but God is good and faithful and knew that our home needed another kitty.  So after lots of tears and hurts, God pointed us to our new fur baby, Ember. 

She's named Ember for a few reasons.  One, she's more of a buff orange, not a bright orange like Blaze.  Two, she's not Blaze, she's not ever going to be Blaze so she is Ember, she's like Blaze only different.  And Ember has taken to our family.  She even has Chris loving on her.  She can handle her own with Sierra and man she is a snuggler which is exactly what our family needed after our loss.  There is nothing sweeter than the sweet purr of a fur baby lulling you to sleep.  God knew what we needed and brought us to Ember, our little Alabama girl.

And so that brings us to now.  Tides are changing and time keeps evolving.  I can't stop it.  Matthew is growing up and will be 20 soon.  Oh my how that blows my mind.  I can't possibly be the Mom to a 20 year old and  yet here I am, trying to navigate the waters.  I don't feel so much like I'm swimming elegantly through those waters, more like a dog paddle upstream with waves crashing on all sides.  But God has Matthew and I in his hand.  We can't be plucked, ever.  I'm learning to pray for Matthew as my adult son.  I'm learning to let go and let God fill him.  I'm learning to trust God with him and to not let Jennifer get in the way.  God works best when we allow him to do what he needs to do.  Sometimes that is tough love.  Sometimes that is heartache.  Sometimes that is living through the circumstances of a bad choice.  But as I've already said, God uses all things for the good of his children and for his glory.  And while I know Matthew has drifted away from the Lord right now, he will be called back.  He has Jesus in his heart and nothing can ever change that.  God knows where Matthew is.  God knows Matthew's fears.  God loves Matthew so much more than I ever could.  And so I have to trust God with him.  I have to pray for Matthew to be infused with the Holy Spirit so deeply that he opens his eyes to God.  And it will happen in God's time and in His ways.  And when that day comes, you will hear this Momma rejoicing in Jesus' Name!

Another year is almost gone.  Another year of ups and downs.  This roller coaster of life can be difficult.  I couldn't imagine living life without God at the center of it.  Without God at the helm of this crazy Jennifer ship, I wouldn't have been able to make it through the year.  I know my path isn't paved with rose petals but I am assured that God is the light upon the path.  God never said life would be full of roses, alas, there will be some thorns along the way.  But oh the sweetness when you can look back and see the glory of God in it all.  Oh the power when you can see God's handiwork.

May you see glimpses of God as you look back upon your year.  May you forever be reminded of how good he is to his children and just how much he loves each of us.  I pray that you will be filled with the Holy Spirit this Christmas season and walk into 2020 full of anticipation on what God has yet to come for each of us.  Praises and Blessings to you and yours....

God takes the ugly and makes something beautiful...that's who He is.

Nineteen and a half years ago, I was gifted the best gift anyone could ask for.  After years of prayer, God gifted me my Matthew.  He was what I needed in my life at that moment in order to see beyond myself and to help me be brave and step outside what I felt as safe into something even bigger. 

I know I've said it a million times but Matthew truly was my gift from God.  When I found out I was pregnant, I was in a very unhealthy marriage.  Four months into my pregnancy, I found myself going through a divorce.  Had Matthew not been gifted to me, I might just have stayed unhappy and miserable all my life.  But God saw things differently.  

So, here I was, four months pregnant and alone.  But instead of falling into a crumbling mess on the floor and blaming God for this poor timing, I instead realized that God had given me a reason to not be focused on myself.  God was using my baby to force me to trust Him and to step out in faith with Him, knowing full well, it would take complete faith in God for me to do this on my own.  God knew I needed that push and Matthew did that.

Flash forward to four months after Matthew was born and I began dating my now husband, Chris.  Chris will be the first to admit, dating me was fine but he had kids already and wasn't looking for a baby to add to the mix.  But as we continued to spend time together, Chris felt God was giving him another opportunity to be a great Dad.  Nineteen years later, he's still being a great Dad.  

Which brings me to today.  It always amazes me how God can use all our junk and turn it into something incredible.  God truly takes the ugly and makes it beautiful.  It's just who He is.  He doesn't waste any of it.  And if you are really paying attention, you can look back and see the little specks of light on your life when God has done just that, made it beautiful.

On Father's Day, Matthew came into the living room where Chris and I were watching a movie and asked if he could talk to Chris.  I knew what this conversation was to be about but I had to play it cool, I couldn't give anything away.  Matthew went on to talk to Chris about how he has always been there for him since he was a baby and that even though he had a biological father, that the relationship with him was never like his with Chris.  Matthew continued saying that Chris had always taken care of him through the good and the bad, had always supported him, always been involved in his life, he in all aspects was his Dad...and so, Matthew asked Chris if he would adopt him.

I know, I know...the math doesn't add up right?  Matthew's 19, why is he asking now?  Well, let me answer that for you.  Evidently Matthew has wanted this for a long time but he knew that his biological father would never agree to it regardless of their lack of a relationship and so Matthew has been waiting for the day he was old enough to step out on his own and ask his Dad to adopt him as an adult adoption.

The moment the words left Matthew's mouth, I could see the glistening in Chris' eyes.  This has been what Chris has wanted all his life.  There has never been a moment that Chris has not been Matthew's Dad.  Chris has always been there, always given all he had, always been the man in Matthew's life.  And so, it was with great joy that Chris said, of course.

And then the ball started rolling.  Shortly after Father's Day, I reached out to an attorney's office and they began the process of making Matthew's request official.  Paperwork was signed, notarized and filed with the courts...and then we got a court date.

The week leading up to our court date, Matthew and I were a bit anxious.  Not Chris, he was soaring on cloud nine!  So early in the morning on August 8th, we walked into Judge Scarlett's court room ready to consent to this adoption and by 9:00am, it was official.  Matthew became an Evoy!

I can look back over my life and see God's hand at work.  I used to beat myself up that I had a broken past and I caused my son to have to deal with my choices but not so much these days.  These days I can see where God gifted me Matthew and used all that garbage from my first marriage to bring both Matthew and I to today.  Not a single moment of yuck was missed by God.  Not a single moment of hurt was forgotten by God.  Not a single moment of guilt was accepted by God.  Instead, God used all that hurt, all that guilt, all that yuck for His glory.

It says in Ephesians 1:5, God tells us, "In love, he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will".  God is all about adoption.  God has adopted each of us into His family so why on earth would he not honor and glorify an adoption involving his children?

I want to feel bad for Matthew's biological father but I just can't.  I have to look at the situation and say to myself, he chose this path.  He chose no relationship and because of that, God provided Matthew with Chris.  Chris has stepped up as a Dad in every way a Dad can.  And now, because of this adoption, Chris is now not just Matthew's Dad but he is also his Father.  "Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me"- Matthew 18:5.

Chris accepted Matthew and I nineteen years ago when we walked into his life.  God has brought us to this moment of celebration in our family.  God has been here from the very beginning for each of us.  God knew what each of us needed and God knew that one day, one day, our testimony would include how God used the ugly in our lives and made it into a beautiful masterpiece full of love and family.

I couldn't imagine how my life would have turned out if God had not gifted me Matthew.  Where would I be?  Oh how I would have missed the blessings to come if I had not stepped out in faith and trusted God with this little gift from above.  Oh what a great God we have walking with us that he can take the ugly and make it into something beautiful...that's who He is.

So, without further ado....I'd like to introduce you to our son, Matthew Allen Evoy.  Cue the stork, It's a BOY!  And this Momma would have it no other way!  To God be the Glory! 

X, Y, Z....

Last year was the first year that I did this A to Z Blogging Challenge and it's just that, a challenge.  I had told myself that I would not participate this year but alas, God had other ideas.  I enjoy being able to just sit at the computer and see what God wants me to see.  Each post this challenge has been from my heart and spoken through the truths that God has laid on my heart.  It is bittersweet to be coming to the end of the challenge for this year but I know God will continue to share with me what He desires for me to learn. 

X, Y, Z...that brings us to the very end of the alphabet.  Yes, I know, I'm supposed to break them up by days but I just felt lead to combine them this morning and for whatever reason, prayer is on my heart.  Not sure how God is going to incorporate my final letters into prayer but let's see where He takes us.

When I was going through my divorce from my first marriage, I was four months pregnant.  I remember questioning God so many times, why?  And I had a co-worker speak truth into my heart.  She shared her life verse with me and in that moment, I felt peace.  Peace with the circumstances God had laid before me.  Peace with the outcome.  Peace that I was in fact strong enough to do this on my own.  She shared with me, Philippians 4:6-7,

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Don't be anxious, pray.  Pray and present your requests to God.  Ya know, prior to getting pregnant, I had been dealing with a very unfaithful marriage.  I knew that I wasn't loved or respected as I should have been and yet, I didn't have the courage to leave.  And I remember one night just asking God to give me somebody that would love me, need me, care about me and just be there with me.  I remember saying to Him, I just wasn't strong enough to leave on my own, I needed a push from Him.  And then, then I was blessed with a baby.  Fear griped me and took over.  A baby?  And then after
lots of time pondering and staying in prayer with God, I realized, this was His answer for me.  He was giving me the courage to step outside of this broken relationship and be responsible for something.  I was now forced with facing the fact that it was no longer about me, it was about me taking care of this little gift from God.  God had gifted me a purpose greater than myself that forced me to summon all my strength and rely on Him for every step.  Prayers get answered my friends, we just don't always see the big picture on the how.

God is a zealous God.  He is devoted to His children.  He is purposeful in all He does.  Nothing in our life goes unused by God.  Nothing in our life is so horrible that God won't passionately pursue us.  And as Elizabeth Elliot has said, "What God gives in answer to our prayers will always be the thing we most urgently need, and it will always be sufficient". God hears us.  God walks with us.  God is eXtraordinary, marvelous, miraculous, wonderful and eXceptional.  He is our Abba, our Father, our Yahweh.  He is all things.  He is in control of all things.  He is.

As a society that far too often gets blinded by the lies and snarls of Satan, we need prayer more than we know in our lives.  "The center of power is not to be found in summit meetings or in peace conferences.  It is not in Peking or Washington or the United Nations, but rather where a child of God prays in the power of the Spirit for God's will to be done in her life, in her home, and in the world around her".- Ruth Bell Graham

Praying isn't some polished conversation with God.  It is a simple conversation with your Father in heaven.  It's not formal.  It's not always full of words.  Sometimes, your heart does the praying for you when you just can't put words into motion.  Sometimes, it's the flash prayers, those arrow prayers that you send up quick as a need or a thought arises.  I'm quite familiar with those.  Far too often I find myself in the car alone and that's when I start sending up those arrow prayers to God.  Prayers like, please be with Matthew today during his exams.  Please walk with my sister through her struggles today.  Please keep Chris safe on his drive to and from work.  Arrow prayers may be short, but God knows our hearts and our needs.  He knows the whole story.

Then there are times when we just fall on our knees and are unable to form the words of our prayers.  God knows our hearts then too.  We don't have to have the perfect words, just an obedient heart.  Bottom line, your prayer time is your time with God.  It allows Him into your circle and gives Him the opportunities to be with you, hold you and hear the concerns of your heart.  Even I allow myself to miss out on those moments because I too fall short of spending time in prayer with my Father.  But guess what?  He still loves me.  Don't think for one second that just because you aren't on your knees everyday that God doesn't love you and want the best for you.  Don't get me wrong, prayer should not be taken lightly.  What I am trying to tell you is that you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be obedient. 

Friends, if you don't know God, I invite you to step out and allow Him into your heart.  Prayer is an important part of a believer's life.  It helps us in times of worry.  It gives us strength in times of weakness.  It allows us time to sit at God's feet and be given peace.  It gives us hope.

I am fortunate to have a circle of prayer warriors around my life.  These people commit to time with God on my behalf and I feel so unworthy at times.  The intense prayer of the righteous is very powerful. James 5:16  Find people in your life that can be prayer warriors for you.  There is power in a circle of prayer warriors. 

As this blogging challenge comes to an end, I challenge you to start a new habit this summer.  Start a habit of spending time with God in prayer.  Start small and build.  I assure you, as your time with God begins to build, you will see even more glimpses of God answering prayer in your life.  Sometimes, it may not be the answer we thought we wanted.  God is amazing like that.  Sometimes God answers prayers in ways we could never imagine.  Like I said, God is zealous.  He is eXtraordinary.   He is our Abba, our Father, our Yahweh.  He is all things.  He is in control of all things.  He is the great I Am.  Trust your life with Him for He is faithful, compassionate, merciful and full of grace for each of His children.  He knows each of us intimately and desires to hear our prayers, our requests, our petitions.  He alone can bring calm to our storms.  He alone can hold us when we can no longer stand.  He alone hears our biggest and our smallest prayers.  Nothing is too great for our God, and nothing is to small.  Pray constantly.  God is listening.

"T"rusting the "U"n"W"avering "V"ine

Yes, yes, I know...I'm 4 days behind but I've gotten creative on how to use T, U, V and W today and I have been waiting to blog about the "Vine" so it works perfectly.  So, without further ado, let's get this challenge caught back up.

Does anyone else have trust issues?  I most certainly do.  I had a hard time letting go and trusting my now husband after my divorce.  I just couldn't let go of the hurt and pain that came with the lack of trust in my first marriage.  And that poison created chaos in my next relationship.  It took a lot of work for me to trust Chris.  Not because he's not trustworthy but because I had a deep hurt.

I often times have a hard time trusting people in general.  I look for the reason not to trust them so that I won't get hurt.  It's not the right way to live since Jesus commands us to love each other.  And then, then there are times that I just don't trust God.  Those are the most difficult times because there should never be an opportunity that I don't trust God.

God is completely trustworthy.  He is unwavering, constant, always good.  He is the only one I should be trusting all the time.  God has given us a road map full of His promises in the Bible.  Spending a passing moment in the Bible instead of meditating on the words of God is selling yourself short of the opportunities for God to really show you His promises.  It's taking away the moments that God has to share with you through His word.

One of my favorite scripture passages is in John 15, Jesus tells us,

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.  If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.  If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.- John 15:5-8

Jesus is our vine.  We are the branches.  We are to trust that He will keep us attached to Him at all times but to do that, WE must continue to bear fruit, to be obedient, to be in His word.  We can't just sit here and think that Jesus will just prune us and grow us without trusting Him for every step.  No friends, we must commit to a life of following Jesus in all times.  Trust is hard.  Losing trust in someone hurts.  But God already knows the plans and purposes for each of our lives.  He is the vine.  He is constant.

I have seen God testing my trust this first year that Matthew has been in college.  Mind you, he's been living at home and commuting each day but it has still been an adjustment.  I'm one of those "smothering mothers".  I own every ounce of it.  He's my boy.  He's the love of my life.  He's my gift from God.  And this year, I've had to let go of a lot of that Mothering.  Matthew is growing up and finishing his freshman year in college.  I can't be the same type of Mom I was, it's time to trust God and step away from that role and into my new one.  It's so hard friends.  So, so hard.  I want to fix it.  I want to make it better.  I want, I want, I want.  But what I want isn't what God wants for me or for Matthew.  This year I have had to force myself to let God have Matthew.  I have had to literally say out loud, "Lord, I give him to you.  Protect him, guide him, turn his heart back to you.  I trust You with his life".  Those are hard words to swallow.  Even harder words to say out loud where God can hear them.  (as if he didn't already know what was said in my head)  As a Mom, it is hard to let go but that is the beauty of our God.  His hands are bigger, stronger and far more capable of protecting and loving for our children.  So, I'm learning to trust in this new season as a Mom.  I'm learning everyday.  And everyday is a challenge, BUT God is right there with me.  And He's right there with Matthew.  And yes, I know Matthew will fail sometimes but I pray, oh how I pray, that he will turn his heart towards the Lord that loves him and trust Him for the next step.

Trusting the unwavering God in all times allows us to find joy in our lives.  Trusting God gives us opportunities to praise Him through the storms and praise Him through the triumphs.  Proverbs 4:3-4 tells us to, Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.  Acknowledge Him in all our ways. Trusting Him in all our ways.  He is unwavering and able to be trusted with all parts of our lives.

A friend of mine gave me a little book, God's Wisdom for Mothers.  Fitting no?  God knows what we need before we even realize it.  In it, it has a section on how God teaches mother's to trust Him completely and various scriptures are listed.  I believe, in this new season of Mothering, that I am going to start praying these verses from Psalms over Matthew.

The Lord is your keeper;

The Lord is your shade at your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day, 

Nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; 

He shall preserve your soul.

The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in

From this time forth, and even furthermore.  Psalm 121:5-8

I invite you to find your scripture to pray out loud so that you can find the peace and the trust that God has promised you.  God knows all the plans He has for us.  He's promised to give us hope and a future in Jeremiah.  And so we must put all our trust in the unwavering promises that God gives us.  He is our vine, we are the branches.  Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going.  He always keeps his word.  Hebrews 10:23

"S"etting a Christlike Example

Not long ago I heard a sermon on letting go of the negative people in your life that do nothing but bring you down.  They offer nothing to your life.  Do you have any of those?  None of us like to admit it, but we do.  He went on to say that once we let go of the negative, God will bless us with just the right positive person we need.  It's true.  I'm living proof.  I let go of the negative marriage to be blessed with the right marriage, for me and my needs.  But that sermon got me thinking, am I setting an example for my son, my circle of friends, my family?  I talk the talk, but do I walk the walk as a Christian that I can be certain that I am surrounding myself with the positive and not succumbing to the negative?

Whether we like it or not, we are all role models of some kind.  And as Christians, we are held at a higher accountability to our friends and family.  Are you a person whose behavior serves as a positive role  model for those around you?  Are you the kind of person whose actions, day in and day out, are based on kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and love for the Lord?  Don't just jump to a quick, YES, why YES I am...because I would imagine that there are times in your life that you are as double minded as James says in his book of the Bible.  We all fall victim to this.  But stop for a second and think of how truly blessed your life could be if you WERE everything that God wanted for you.  Think of what a powerful influence you would be if you portrayed the love of Christ in your everyday actions.  Don't just talk the talk of being a Christian, get dirty and walk the walk!

Matthew 5:14, 16 says You are the light that gives light to the world...In the same way, you should be a light for other people.  Live so that they will see the good things you do and will praise your Father in heaven.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking.  If you start walking the walk, you're gonna lose some relationships but I ask you, are those relationships worthy of your time if they just bring you down?  Doesn't God have a plan of action to give you what you need?  Are you that scared that if you start moving away from the negative in your life that you won't be blessed in other ways?  It says in the Bible that our enemies will one day shake our hands.  It doesn't say it'll happen today, or tomorrow, or next year....but God has promised it will happen. 

 I will be completely honest, I've lost some people in my life.  My husband calls them "seasons".  Often, God gifts us a relationship for a season so that we can build them up, they can build us up, or they are a stepping stone to something even greater God has for us.  I've had many seasons ebb and flow in my life.  And each relationship that I thought was important, as that season ended, I mourned and grieved BUT, I've also seen, just as God has told us, new relationships form from the ruins of the old.  God is loving like that. 

 There is a reason behind every relationship we encounter.  And we have to remind ourselves of what Barbara Johnson has correctly stated, "In your desire to share the gospel, you may be the only Jesus someone else will ever meet.  Be real and be involved with people'.  God puts people in our lives so that we have opportunities to share Him.  It is our responsibility to set the example for those around us.  God uses it all.  "There is nothing anybody else can do that can stop God from using us.  We can turn everything into a testimony."- Corrie ten Boom.

 Anne Graham Lotz said once, "As we live moment by moment under the control of the Spirit, His character, which is the character of Jesus, becomes evident to those around us".  It becomes evident to those around us.  Those that support us and those that tear us down.  And those that tear you down, the more they see the Spirit working in you, the more they are gonna try to tear you down.  Don't let them.  It's their negativity that forces them to try to bring others down to their level.  You are above that my friend.  Rise above it.  Set an example of good works yourself, with integrity and dignity in your teaching.  Titus 2:7   

You should be an example to the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.  1 Timothy 4:12  Be the example, the image of Christ.  Surround yourself with those that love you, that want the best for you, that bring happiness and JOY into your life.

 Slop off the negative.  Set the example for those around you of what the light of Christ looks like, acts like, responds like and most importantly, loves like.  Seasons come and go with the people in our lives, so use your time wisely, trusting God through each season.

"Q"uintessential "R"estoration

I know you are looking at that really big "Q" word and wondering what in the world does that mean?  Quintessential means representing the most perfect; and I just felt it speaks volumes to the perfect lamb that was slain for our restoration on this Easter.

Easter has always been my favorite holiday.  Yes, I love Christmas and the birth of Jesus but Easter holds an even bigger spot in my heart.  It's the holiday we celebrate that says, look, Christ died for me and I am forever washed clean of my sin because of His sacrifice on the cross.
  
I can remember growing up, we always had Easter baskets and egg hunts.  When I was younger and still living near my Grandparents in Iowa, we would do egg hunts at my Gramma Foster's house.  I can remember my Uncle always hiding them up high so we would have a difficult time trying to find them.  Then, as I've grown and my siblings started having children of their own, we would do our egg hunts at my parents home and I would do the same thing as my Uncle.  You just can't make it too easy, you have to hide those eggs high off the ground!

Then there were always the Easter gifts.  Our baskets would be overflowing with candy, jelly beans, Peep marshmallow treats and always one special gift.  One year, when I was in about middle school, I remember getting the coolest outfit.  It was leggings with a long top.  Oh so fashionable I thought.  After our baskets, we would have cinnamon rolls and get ready to head to church.  And every Easter Sunday in our church, the choir would sing the Hallelujah Chorus.  It was beautiful and magical.

The Easter lilies would be adorning the front of the sanctuary and it was just such a majestic morning of remembering Christ has risen!  And as I've gotten older and begun my own Easter traditions in my home, I've tried to incorporate a lot of the memories from growing up.

The Easter story just represents such love and sacrifice that it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.  It represents the most perfect restoration given to God's people.  And it amazes me, even today, when I read the scriptures, how perfect God's plan was and how difficult that it must have been for Jesus knowing this was God's will.  

 In one of my Bibles from growing up, I have the Easter story highlighted.  It was the very first time I had ever highlighted anything in my Bible but I just felt that those words needed to stand out.  They were important.  The entire story is important.  It's the story of how we were saved by 3 nails and 1 cross.  I tend to go to Luke to read these scriptures because Luke was a Doctor so he gives such details.  And since it is Easter, I'm just going to share what I have highlighted in my Bible for you today.

Luke 23: 44-46- It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.  Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.

Luke 23:50-54- Now there was a man named Joseph, a member of the Council, a good and upright man,  who had not consented to their decision and action. He came from the Judean town of Arimathea, and he himself was waiting for the kingdom of God.  Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus’ body.  Then he took it down, wrapped it in linen cloth and placed it in a tomb cut in the rock, one in which no one had yet been laid.  It was Preparation Day, and the Sabbath was about to begin.

Luke 24: 1-8- On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.  While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them.  In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead?  He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee:  ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ” Then they remembered his words.

Luke 24:46-48- He told them, “This is what is written: The Messiah will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day,  and repentance for the forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.  You are witnesses of these things.

Jesus took on the sin of the world as an atoning sacrifice for you and for me.  We are promised eternal salvation WITH him in heaven.  God loved us so much that he gave his only Son so that we may be found righteous.  Friends, THAT is what Easter is about.  We need to remember, bunnies and eggs are fun but the true meaning of Easter is about the Lamb.

Far too often we allow holidays to become "hallmarky" and lose the true meaning of what we are supposed to be celebrating.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good egg hunt with the kids but we also need to stop and make sure we are sharing the true story of Easter with those same kids. 

Jesus has Risen!  And he now sits at the right hand of God reigning over all the earth and one day He will come again and it will be glorious.  He will gather up His children and bring us to where He is and we will be reunited with all those who have gone before us.  Oh what a promise we have from our Lord! 

I urge you, if you haven't sat down with your Bible recently and spent time reading through the story of Jesus'  sacrifice on the cross, do it this Easter.  Sit in the Word of God, soak it in.  And I can tell you, you will never look at Easter the same.  

Jesus was the perfect Lamb who provided a way of restoration for His people.  What greater love is there?  Quintessential Restoration- perfect restoration.  Jesus, the Lamb of God, perfect and blameless took on our sin because we couldn't.  May you and yours see the true light of Christ this Easter and remember the sacrifice He made so that you may be perfectly restored. 

  Happy Easter.

"N"ot "O"ne of us is "P"erfect

Okay, okay so I'm about 3 days behind but friends, life often gets in the way and we just have to roll with it.  And today's title reminds me of just that, we aren't perfect so we have to learn to just keep moving forward the best we can.

I will admit to you, I am a perfectionist.  I strive to be perfect.  I strive for perfection in all I do.  Parenting, being a daughter, grand-daughter, wife, friend...all of it, I want perfection.  And when I don't hit the mark that I think I should hit, I get angry with myself.  And bless him, my son is the exact same way.  My poor husband has to deal with two OCD perfectionist in the same house...bless it!

But does God expect us to be perfect?  Does God get angry and disappointed in us when we don't hit the mark he has set for us?  Friends, NO!  The pressure for perfection is put on us by ourselves!  I can remember when Matthew was younger, he would get so frustrated when he messed up at school or had an argument with a friend or didn't play his best at his ice hockey game.  Oh he would get so down on himself and I used to tell him, "Can you walk on water?".  And the obligatory answer would always come out, nope.  And I would gently remind him, only Jesus can walk on water so only Jesus can hit the mark on perfection.  Of course, I don't always give myself the same advice.

Friends, Jesus is the only person EVER to be perfect.  Jesus is the only person EVER to be sinless.  And I find it so fitting that as we are celebrating Holy Week this week and beginning our walk to the cross that God has brought perfection to my heart.  

God created Jesus for a purpose.  Jesus was brought to walk this earth to be our atoning sacrifice so that we may be found blameless before God.  2 Corinthians 5:21 tells us, God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.   Jesus is the only man who can be called perfect and used by God for our salvation.

  ...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,  and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.  God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished—  he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.  Romans 3:24-26

Oh the love God has for us!  To sacrifice His only Son for us.  Our sinning, horrible, ugly selves are seen as blameless and righteous before God all because Jesus sacrificed his life for ours.  If you realize nothing else today, realize that YOU are part of God's plan.  You are part of the Easter story because Christ died for you and YOU are not expected to be perfect but rather obedient.  God doesn't look at our mistakes and keep a tally, we do that ourselves.  God doesn't look at us and expect perfection, we do that.  God does look at us with love, mercy, compassion and grace and expects us to be obedient children.  

We are our own worst critics.  God accepts us as we are, scars, flaws, and imperfections. If he accepts us, we need to then accept ourselves as we are.   Gloria Gaither has stated, "Being loved by Him whose opinion matters most give us the security to risk loving, too- even loving ourselves".  We have to love ourselves, just as we are, imperfect.  We will never be good enough in our eyes but through the eyes of God, we are no longer stained with imperfections but seen white as snow, clean and righteous.

As we enter into the final days of Christ, let us remember, Christ died for all of us.  Christ sacrificed himself on the cross for all of us.  Christ took on the sin that we could never take on ourselves.  Perfection doesn't exist in our world but rather with Christ.  

So instead of spending time worrying about trying to be the perfect parent.  The perfect servant of Christ.  The perfect spouse.  The perfect child or friend, remind yourself of Philippians 4:8-

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy- meditate on these things.

Don't waste a moment of this life fretting over a perfection that we will never attain, instead, meditate on the things of God.  Don't allow yourself to become so wrapped up in society's expectations that you miss what God has for you.  One final thought from Joyce Meyer, "God is not hard to please.  He does not expect us to be absolutely perfect.  He just expects us to keep moving towards Him and believing in Him, letting Him work with us to bring us into conformity to His will and ways".

Let go of the idea of perfection (trust me, I'm a work in progress too) and instead allow yourself to sit at the feet of God knowing that His love is made perfect in you.

"M"emories are the "M"oments we cherish

Today I looked through my Facebook memories and one particular memory caught my eye.  I can't believe that seven years ago today, my husband and I were baptized.  It was something we did together and we did it in the lake with ALL the gators.  Now mind you, our Pastor reminded us that all those gators were Christians and just wanted to be a part of the celebration; but it is a bit unnerving to have one guy dedicated to "gator duty" with a long stick.  None the less, we stepped into that lake and trusted God with the details.

Our memories are full of moments we will forever cherish.  I'm sure as you have begun reading this, you are scrolling through the pages of memories in your mind.  Our memories can heal us.  They can make us laugh.  They can make us weep.  They can build us up and they can strengthen those around us.  When we take time to scroll through the memories in our minds, we are allowing those moments where God was in the details into our daily lives.

Just thinking about that warm day in April of 2012 when Chris and I walked out to the lake, I can see God in all the details.  It wasn't our idea to get baptized that April but instead, Matthew pushed us towards it.  Chris and I had been baptized as children but had never stepped out into our adult faith through baptism.  Matthew, the prior October, decided that he wanted to be baptized.  (Yet another memory that I treasure.)  As he stepped into the  baptismal font, I can still picture his excited face.  Pastor Randall asked him if he accepted the Lord Jesus Christ and Matthew, as tiny as he was at 12 years of age, said loud and clear, YES!  The tears of joy streaming down my face that night were overwhelming, even today, I can still feel the excitement I felt the moment my son was dunked and forever saved.  It was Matthew stepping out in faith that pushed Chris and I to do the same. 

Now mind you, not all our memories are happy ones.  Often times we are faced with reminders of moments that hurt.  I'll be honest, I have a bunch of those stored up in my file cabinet in my head too.  I hate the memory of going through a divorce and being pregnant by myself.  And while I would change nothing about the path God has put me on, I often wish I could erase that memory of being alone.  How I would have loved to instead have been able to share all the moments of my pregnancy with a loving companion.  But that wasn't God's plan for my life.  There is a purpose and a plan behind why and I can only look at the blessings that God has given me since that time in my life and know that God wanted the best. It was in His timing that I met Chris and our relationship evolved.

I would love to be able to erase all the moments of saying goodbye to those I love.  My Grandparents, my friends who have passed away.  I don't like being able to remember the smell of the funeral flowers or hearing a song on the radio and knowing that the last time I heard that, I was saying goodbye.

Memories come in all shapes and sizes.  But friends, let me tell you something, each of those memories is tied to a moment that God was in.  If I've said it once this Bible Study Fellowship class year, I've said it a million times, God is IN the details of our lives.  There isn't a moment that goes by that he is surprised and wasn't expecting.  God is woven into the very intimate details of our lives.  He is like a comforting security blanket and is there holding and protecting you at all times.   God is in it all.  And as Corrie ten Boom correctly stated, "If God sends us on stony paths, he provides strong shoes".

God doesn't leave us to work through life alone.  The moment that you accept Jesus into your heart, you are forever saved, forgiven, cherished, loved, found righteous, shown mercy, and lavished with abundant grace.   Oh dear friends, don't let a moment of life go by without creating that memory where you found Jesus and stepped into your inheritance in heaven.  When you can look back on the memories of your life and see the fingerprints of God all over each memory, that is something truly, truly special.  Each of us is a wondrous creation knitted together by God in our mother's womb.  Embrace each memory of every moment in your life, cherish them all.  For each one of them has brought you to where you are today.  Each of them is a stepping stone in your testimony.


The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and great in faithful love.  The Lord is good to everyone; His compassion [rests] on all He has made.- Psalm 145:8-9

"L"iving a "K"ind "L"ife

I'm sure we all have heard the Golden Rule.  I know when I was in elementary school in Iowa, the teachers had it plastered above the chalkboard so we as students would remember, "Do unto others as you would have them do to you".  Sounds easy enough right?  Treat others the way I myself want to be treated.  Kindness.  But far too often we allow ourselves to get busy, we get distracted, we are frustrated and instead of kindness, we show irritation, agitation, anger.  It happens to all of us.  But imagine just for a moment a world where kindness was the only way all of us lived.

Kindness is a daily choice.  It is far easier to be kind to those around you when you are happy or content.  But what about those days in between?  And what does God expect us to do?  How does He expect us to act?

In John 15:15, Jesus gives us a command.  "My Command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."   I don't know about you but that seems like a tough command to follow some days.  Some days I know that I myself am unlovable so why on earth would I want to love someone else?  Human emotional response, right?

As Christians, we must make the daily choice to be kind and loving to everyone, not just those closest to us.  We must look at everyone as Jesus would and love them.  When my family lived in Savannah, Georgia, we volunteered at the Lighthouse Ministry, part of Compassion Christian Church.  (see links below to find out more)

 The Lighthouse was a place where people came together to serve others through kindness and love.  Our family started serving on Wednesdays and we just grew to almost every time the building was open, we were there.  I miss serving this great ministry.  The purpose of the Lighthouse was to provide food, clothing and prayer to anyone who came in.  The folks needing a little extra help would have an opportunity to sit with a counselor and just talk and have some prayer time.  They would receive a Bible if they didn't have one or wanted one.  They would get a chance to walk through the clothing area and get coats, shoes, bedding, kitchen supplies if they needed them.  Then, our team would provide them with a large grocery bag of food.  And not just a few cans but good food.  Breads, canned goods, meats, veggies, you name it.  If it came into our building, it went out with the people who needed it.  And while the moments of helping all these people are stored in my memories, it's the team of people I served with that I treasure and miss the most.  They exuded kindness and Christ's love.  Never a moment went by that they weren't loving on all those folks that had come to us for help.  They took their volunteering personal and seriously.  They truly are the hands and feet of Jesus and sharing His love with all that enter that building.  Oh how I miss serving alongside those people!

Kindness.  I once shared a quote on one of my days to lead the group in prayer before we opened the doors.  It was from my book, 100 Days of Grace.  It said, "when we weave the thread of kindness into the very fabric of our lives, we give a priceless gift to others, and we give glory to the One who gave His life for us."  It takes one person being kind and setting off that little spark to bring hope into someones life that needs that spark.

If we are kind, we can lift others up.  We have no idea the ripple effect that can occur with just one simple act of kindness.  Marie T. Freeman has correctly stated, "When you talk, choose the very same words that you would use if Jesus were looking over your shoulder.  Because He is."  Wow.  If that statement doesn't step on your toes and make you cringe at the words we use towards others, then you my friend, you need to find Jesus.  Pleasant words are a honeycomb: sweet to the taste and health to the body.  Proverbs 16:24

Take a moment today to think before you act and speak.  Evaluate what your actions are saying.  Are you being kind?  Are you showing love as Christ would have you?  What do you need to change?    I leave you with this one final thought on this Saturday morning...

"As much as God loves to hear our worship and adoration, surely he delights all the more in seeing our gratitude translated into simple kindnesses that keep the chain of praise unbroken, alive in other's hearts".- Evelyn Christenson

Be that spark of light that ignites a river of kindness.  Live a life full of loving, kind words that build others up and allow them to see Christ's love within you.  Christ has commanded us to this way of living.  So, go be kind today and let that kindness ripple and overflow into every part of your day.  Go on...see what happens.


Feel lead to support the Lighthouse Ministry?  Please visit

 Compassion Christian Church - Lighthouse Ministry

select Lighthouse Ministry in the drop down box to donate online or see their Facebook page,

Lighthouse Ministry         for specific needs.

"J"esus Rewards "I"ntegrity

Character isn't something that is created instantly, it takes time.  It encompasses all your decisions, words and choices you have made over your lifetime.  Character is a precious commodity that we should protect and treasure at all times.  Our daily lives help us to create our character.  Adversity and struggles mold our character daily.  Beth Moore once said, "Often, our character is at greater risk in prosperity than in adversity".  She's right.  When life is good, we feel good.  We walk a path of carefree days and then the moment adversity strikes, we are tested.

Romans 5:3-4 tells us, We also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience.  And patience produces character, and character produces hope.

God is telling us in Romans, we will have troubles in this life.  Often times, we will feel like we are swimming upstream against the current, but God uses these moments in our lives to build up our character for good. 

I will step inside my own adversities for a moment.  The last year in my house has been a roller coaster.  I have wanted to get off the ride every time another bump happened.  From Chris being in the hospital and almost dying last year.  Then my own health issues were thrown into the mix when my diabetes medication needed to be "tweaked".  Throw in my son's Type 1 Diabetes diagnosis and becoming insulin dependent and starting college.  Sprinkle over all that my Grandmother beginning to decline and a few trips to Iowa to be with her, help her move, and say our final good byes.  Somewhere in here my husband decided to change jobs.   And then the cherry on top is the constant struggle with insurance for insulin coverage, doctor appointments and ongoing lab work.  And through all this, I only had one place to turn my eyes to, Jesus.  I would love to sit here and tell you that I walked through all that adversity like a model Christian full of good character and kindness but alas, I'm human and I did not.  I had good days and bad days.  I had days that I could hide the frustration and adversity, I had days where it showed all over my face.  And all those days together built a bit of my character.

God doesn't throw us curve balls just to see us sweat.  No, not at all.  He throws us curve balls so that we will learn to trust Him in all circumstances.  And trusting Him through it all is hard, it's counter culture to our society.  It's counter culture to us as humans.  We want to fix it.  We want it fixed now.  We want answers now.  We want everyone to like us.  We want, we want, we want.    Benjamin E. Fernando has correctly observed, "Persecution is one of the surest signs of the genuineness of our Christianity."  The stronger we become in Christ, the harder the hits will come.  Oh such truth is in that one quote. 

Think about it for just a minute, as we enter into this Easter season, Christ was persecuted.  In Isaiah, we are told the story of Christ and His sacrifice for us on His walk to the cross.  I love how Isaiah uses such visuals for us to really grasp the significance of Christ's sacrifice. 

Surely he took up our pain

    and bore our suffering,

yet we considered him punished by God,

    stricken by him, and afflicted.

 But he was pierced for our transgressions,

    he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was on him,

    and by his wounds we are healed.

 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,

    each of us has turned to our own way;

and the Lord has laid on him

    the iniquity of us all.

 He was oppressed and afflicted,

    yet he did not open his mouth;

he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,

    and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,

    so he did not open his mouth.  Isaiah 53:4-7

If Christ suffered that persecution, what could I possibly suffer that even comes close to that?  Yes, life is a daily uphill battle that some days just never seems to end ,but God my friends, but God.  

God can do extraordinary things through our battles.  And when we come out the other side, God is there with us.  He never leaves us to walk the battles alone, He is always right beside us.  And when

the battle seems to hard, He will pick us up and see us through.  And through all these battles and trusting God comes character that represents our identity in Christ.  As believers in Christ, we must make a daily choice to live in obedience, honesty and in faith with God.  When we allow ourselves to trust Him through it all, we are provided the opportunity to grow closer to God and to look back and see God's fingerprints all over our lives.  Building a good character isn't easy but as a child of God, it's the way we are called to live.  Preserve it, no matter what.  

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.  He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.  Psalm 1:1-3

Friends, stand strong.  Stand firm in your faith knowing that God is using this moment of adversity to draw you closer to Him.  Know that He loves you and is building your character for good so that you may be a light to the other watching.