Every year, as we get to the holiday season and begin to look to January, I always feel the need to pause and reflect on what I've learned or how I've grown from this past year. This year, oh how 2020 has been so different from past years. So I thought I'd compile a list, while I'm waiting for the cinnamon swirl bread I'm baking to rise.
2020 has felt a little bit like a roller coaster. It gives new meaning to the old saying, "in like a lion, out like a lamb". But if you think about it, while 2020 did come in like a lion, we are ending with the birth of the Lamb of God. How marvelous to end such an anxiety filled year focused on our Savior. Who else but God would give us the reminder of His love through showing us the Christmas Star this year of all years. God is still with us friends. God is still in this year and has not been surprised even though we may have been caught off guard. So, here is where I am as 2020 begins to come to an end. Here is where God has brought me. Here is where God is with me as I prepare to enter 2021.
God has shown me to slow down. It's ok to slow down. When we first got wind of this pandemic, we were all put into a quarantine. We were forced to slow down. In those first few weeks, I'll admit, it was so hard. I had things I wanted to do. Places I wanted to go. Plans I wanted to make. But only God could stop the entire world. And as the weeks began to pass, I felt this peace wash over me that reminded me that it was ok to slow down. It makes me wonder how many opportunities I have missed in my life because I just didn't slow down.
God has shown me to trust Him. I don't know about you but the unknown with this pandemic was anxiety producing to say the least. Even today, nine months later, it still can produce anxiety. We've had our first encounter with a potential positive case regarding my son. It took nine months before anyone in my household had to be tested for covid. Nine months God gave me to show me to trust Him with all the details and anxiety that I was holding up inside. And the three days we had to wait for results, God once again slowed me down so that I could focus in on Him and the peace He gives. God has shown me that He is trustworthy regardless of the situation. God has shown me once again that He is IN all the details. Not a moment gets missed. Regardless of the anxiety of covid and the unknowns or finances or health changes or moving to remote church/school/Bible study, HE is sovereign. HE never left His throne. HE can be trusted.
God has shown me that I don't need to sweat the small stuff but instead give it all to Him. Pre-covid times I would get a bug in my bonnet if we had to go to the doctor. I would get uptight if the car needed work done. If one of the fur babies had to go to the vet, I would see dollar signs instead of a wonderful vet who looks after my littles. Now that I've had time to slow down and to refocus, the small stuff is just that, small. Ok, so I have to make a second trip to the dentist, that's fine. I'm blessed to have a dentist that makes time for her patients. Ok, so the car needed four new tires. Was I prepared for that expense? Nope. But has God provided for us to be able to get four new tires? Yup. So the vacuum cleaner died on me and I have to make a trip to Walmart (yikes!) to pick up another one. Praise God I have four new tires to drive safely to Walmart and praise God we have what we need to be able to purchase a new one. I've discovered I can't spend my time stressing the "small stuff ". In the grand scheme of life, it's so trivial and a waste of energy.
God has shown me that people matter more than things. I've always been the type of person who tries to show people love through gifts. Not big gifts but just little tokens of love and joy to let someone know that they are thought about, cared for, prayed over and not forgotten. Covid has certainly caused me to re-evaluate how I show kindness. I love to bake and because God has shown me to slow down and not sweat the small stuff, I have been able to spend time in my kitchen creating little treats. What a sweet gift of time God has allowed me to bake and share the abundance with people around me. Nothing makes me smile bigger than being able to text a neighbor and tell her to check her front porch...surprise! I've had the opportunity to slow down and deliver treats to people in my small group at church just to make them smile. People are important and they need to know they matter. And when the world can't go out and about like normal, people need to know they are not forgotten about.
God has shown me that I am stronger and wiser when I lean on the power of the Holy Spirit. Through this year, my BSF leadership has changed and we've had to move to virtual discussion groups. When the idea was presented to me in March, man, the stress level! And then we moved to summer break and I have to be honest, it wasn't much of a break for this gal. But come September, with the guidance and help of the Holy Spirit, I was able to help our class move to an online format and I have been so humbled to be able to have helped so many women in our discussion groups get online and be able to participate. Are there days I grumble that I wish I wasn't the "IT go to" person? Certainly. But, through these nine months of helping others go virtual, I have seen the guidance and perseverance I have been gifted by the Holy Spirit and I can see my spiritual gifts being grown. I find immense joy in the success of an online discussion group and the ability to upload the weekly lecture for all to hear God's Word. It is not through my capabilities but through the power of the Spirit within me.
Throughout this entire year I have been reminded over and over again, God is constant and in control. Even when my world has been shaken, God is still God. We've had immense answer to prayer this year. Matthew and I had our best A1C's ever! I've been able to start to lower some doses of my medications. I've lost weight thanks for being able to slow down and focus in on good eating habits, and a few dog walks have helped. We watched Matthew conquer remote learning and have his best semester ever with a 3.47 GPA. Friends, amidst the struggle is joy. If I've learned nothing it's to slow down, trust, be patient, show your love and lean into the Spirit. That's my take away for 2020.
STPLL!
Slow. Trust. Patience. Love. Lean.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm as anxious as all of you to get this pandemic behind us and go back to a "normal routine" but, I pray and hope that God will keep my eyes on Him and I will continue to value what He has shown me this past year. I pray I will continue to slow down and to trust. I want to continue to not sweat the small stuff but to be patient and trust God with all the details. I hope that I am able to continue to put people in my life first and not get so busy that I forget they are there and may need a little extra love. And most of all, I hope that I never get so busy that I don't take the time to lean into the Spirit.
I pray that whoever is reading this takes a moment to just sit and reflect on your year. How has God grown you? How has God opened your eyes to trusting Him? I pray that each of us is reminded of just how faithful God is as we go into 2021.
"Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal."
Isaiah 26:4
Merry Christmas friends and Happy New Year!
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